Thursday, August 23, 2012

Defeated & Done...

   I was just blamed for everything that has happened in my three years of this marriage, basically. Okay...wait one damn minute! I'm not the one with the constant excuses. I'm not the one that's swept everything under the rug after asking for the help. And, I'm not the one that's tucking tail and hiding. I'm just the one that's had enough of a grown man's immaturity, dodging his parental responsibilities and laying blame on everyone but the one it should fall on...himself.
   After this post, I'm done with all this bullshit! I'm focusing on bettering my life. And, if that means I have to endure more crap until I can properly remove myself and my children from this...then that's what I do. Someone has to put a stop to it. And, I can clearly see that the one responsible for it continuing would rather drink and sing his problems away while someone else feels they have to fix it.
   For three years, I've blamed two girls for tearing my marriage apart. It hasn't been their fault directly. Children learn from what they see. How can someone teach their kids to show respect and want better for their lives when they don't show it for their own? It's sad when a stepparent shows more interest in the kids than the one that brought them into this world. And, if I find myself at a new residence because of this...I hope that something finally hits home with him...for their sakes.
   I love this man with all my heart. But, sometimes love can't be enough. There has to be mutual respect, and I feel with his lack of involvement...we don't share that. And, somewhere along the way I've lost respect for not only him, but myself by staying. I want the best for his kids just as I do for my own. But, I can't be the one to come and fix all the years before me...and, I'll be damned if I'm gonna be the one reaping the continuous crap from them ♥

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